yay genderlabel!

Hello I am

activist, amorous, beautiful, big sister, blessed, brunette, confidant, Democrat, daughter, dominant, esoteric, female, female-souled, feminist, femme, friend, full of love, hippychick, intelligent, LGBTQIOPPS, lover, loving, man-loving, misstery, multifacetted, niece, outspoken, pan-romantic, panamorous, passionate, peopleemotional, peopleplatonic, peoplesexual, polycurious, priestess, pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-life, pro-sex feminist, queer liberationist, queer-friendly, queer-minded, quirkyalone, recreational gender blender, sacred whore, sapiosexual, self-defined, sex positive, sexy, she-geek, spiritual, survivor, switch, treehugger

Who are you?

After taking the "quiz" - mostly an interesting look into vocabulary and identity involving HELLA checkboxes - you can view the "who chose what" statistics. The interestingest thing I've done in a while - thanks to Sinclair for posting it!

self-love day 09

Like a lot of single girls women people, I used to get pretty angsty over being "single", especially on Valentine's Day. Over the past couple years I've realized a lot of truths about relationships of all sorts, written a lot of word vomit, listened to an ass-ton of Alanis and Ani, found the quirkyalone movement, fallen in and been pushed out of love, and finally come to acknowledge that I have found my special someone--myself! And in the face of heteronormative do-or-die romanticism, my friends are just as, probably more, important to me than any certain someone.

Today is Self-Love day, and I've spent it helping elementary schoolers with science projects, falling more in love with this city, and getting my Shakespeare gender-bender on in true queer-English-geek form. And of course, memeing. (es de daisy, one of the upper echelon of awesome blogistas in my life.)

Self Love Day 09!

1.) Post one of them thar banners on your blog and declare February 14th as the day you not only love your one and only, but the day that you love yourself!
2.) Post one nice thing about yourself……then ask others to post one thing that they really like about you.
3.) Enjoy yourself!


So, something nice about myself:

This sounds arrogant, cliche, hella Xian, or all of the above, but: my faith will get me through so, so much. It seems strange to me when people say "My faith got me through it", as though it's a last resort or a crutch, as though life wasn't made of faith. I sometimes feel like I've got an umbilical cord to the Universe, providing a context and Eagle's eyes for all of my actions. It's a weight sometimes, especially in this culture, but always a blessing. My faith doesn't get me through things, it pulls me to them, the one untangled thread in the loom of crazy that sometimes inhabits my brain.

Also, petty-nice thing--I think I have really, really pretty hair.

Now is the time to ask--any lurkers have nice things to say about me, themselves, the universe, etc ad inf? Do so :) Mwah!-mwah!s to all my relations. -t

a response to: people who say I worry to much

for acs

to worry for her,
einstien of strings and written word,
is to fall into a groove--my addiction to
defending what I hold dear.
A high school career spent in
worry and wonder,
my stomach flips when her parents name
flashes on the caller id
hoping it isn't time yet...
it's a habit habit habit I can't break--

spent hours last night staring at
our empty phones,
the clock in my head - 12 1 2 3 - he whispers in the dark
she hasn't come back yet
what are we afraid to say?

her mother at my doorstep,
have you seen her
our worries twin in the gray morning light.
teenage frantic phone calls,
clawing myself apart with anxiety
fear of and for another's life -

mis conmigos family of soul energy
intertwined like branches and shared sweatpants
all our mugs filled with bitter coffee.
always those I turn to, those I think I can walk away from -
how far would I have to go -
the reason I no longer need Adonis,
no more honey-eyed savior-heartbreakers for me--
Only my firefly self and lightbright friends

Listen:
if you found your wolf-spined lady,
your lion-eyed summerlovergirl

woke without them

what would you do at midnight?

spent last night dreaming of
the dark rain world outside,
a night haunted by men worser for
the year's wear
our naivete
what I should've done - should have asked for numbers,
called the house,
should have given her my pepper spray -
pray and how close those words sound
both defense and plea

my fire-souled manic girl of stringed things
would you have loved yourself a little more
if I had said it sooner?

better safe than sorry darlings -
how to say or show it? I love you and
I don't think I can ever worry enough--

Paralyzing Commonsense

"The paralyzing commonsense notion that everyone,
even the most radical of the radical, plays a role in the status quo
hides the subversive possibility that all of us--even the radicals--
can refuse our roles." - rtmag

A lot of stuff that's been buzzing in my head lately in terms of society has been voiced in the issues of "Rolling Thunder". The articles are incredibly interesting, and I suggest at least downloading the PDFs of out-of-print issues, if not buying the current ones.

This "Anarchist Journal of Dangerous Living" states (in Issue 2 available on PDF) that the only way to make a difference in society is to break from it's ranks - but that's not where S/He/It has directed me. Or has it? To most of "me", it doesn't make sense to change a society from the outside. Obviously we/I cannot mentally subscribe to culture/society if we want to break free from it, but can you really affect a huge change in something you're not invested in?

It really makes me take a look at my life from the witness point of view - I recently overcame a big ol' inner crisis regarding whether to continue my college education and what to study. I suppose that's all up for debate at any time (re: financial ability) but for now I'm here at school, making the most of the system while not locking myself into it. Just reading the "mission" statement makes me take a second (third POV?) look at my Self: as a student, consumer, queer, artist, lover, yogi, and woman. In simple identity--even choosing to NOT identify--how much am I a head in the rotation?

And while anarchy may strike me as a particularly angry and destructive way of reform, aren't rage and destruction part of the balance as much as creation and love?

As always, I mentally wobble between "I have no idea; I don't know" and "I have every idea in the world, I definitely know everything I will ever need". In words I cannot form yet, I know that on some level they are the same.

photo courtesy of xXPunk_14_AngelXx's photobucket. (Hah - ironic, I know.)

Dream, when the day is through...

This beautiful family is what I want to dobehopeforstrivefor. I'm happy for others who experience happiness and contentment, in any way, but to me, this family is IT. I found their website through a computer programmy friend, who was really impressed/intrigued by the game Jason designed.

New favorite book: Saturday with Mez. A beautifully photographed and inclusively written board-book about breast-feeding. A non-gendered child (in the book, anyway), co-sleeping co-oping, really aware family!

This is what makes me hope for the future! (and, um, play video games.)

Their local community currency project, North County Notes

Jason's website